New research suggests that delaying your first
sexual encounter leads to a more satisfying and stable relationship.

 According to a study conducted at Brigham Young
University, couples who had sex the earliest , such as after the first date or
within the first month of dating, had the worst relationship outcomes, .

 “What seems to happen is that if couples become
sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good
decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best
for them in the long-run,” study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young
University’s School of Family Life, told LiveScience.

 Busby and his colleagues published their work in
the latest edition of the Journal of Family Psychology.

 Earlier research on sex and its link to
relationship quality has revealed two different models.

 One model suggests that sex is essential to a
developing relationship since it allows partners to assess their sexual
compatibility. Following this line of thinking, couples who marry before testing
out their sexual chemistry are at risk of marital distress and failure later on.

 The other view suggests that couples who delay or
abstain from sexual intimacy during the early part of their relationships allow
communication and other social processes to become the foundation of their
attraction to each other.

 Essentially, early sex could be detrimental to a
relationship, skewing it away from communication, commitment and the ability to
handle adversity, this thinking suggests.

 According to earlier studies, the link between sex
and relationships is complex.

 For instance, a 2004 study of nearly 300 college
students in dating relationships showed that when couples were highly committed,
sex was more likely to be seen as a positive turning point in the relationship,
increasing understanding, commitment, trust and a sense of security.

 However, when commitment and emotional expressions
were low, the initiation of sex was significantly more likely seen as a negative
event, evoking regret, uncertainty, discomfort, and prompting apologies.

 In the new study, Busby and his colleagues looked
specifically at timing of sexual relations. They recruited 2,035 heterosexual
individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages.

 Participants reported when they first had sexual
relations with their current spouse; they also answered communication questions,
which evaluated how well they could express empathy and understanding toward
their partners, how well they could send clear messages to their partners, and
other questions.

 Other items on the questionnaire focused on
relationship satisfaction and stability, with the latter gauged by three
questions: how often they thought their relationship was in trouble; how often
they thought of ending the relationship; and how often they had broken up and
gotten back together.

 Individuals were categorized as either having:
Early sex (before dating or less than one month after they started dating); Late
sex (between one month and two years of dating); Those who waited until after
they married.

 Relationships fared better and better the longer a
person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those having had their first
sexual encounter before a month showing the worst outcomes.

 Compared with those in the early sex group, those
who waited until marriage rated relationship stability as 22 percent higher.

 They also reported a 20 per cent higher rate of
relationship satisfaction, and rated their communication as 12 per cent higher,

 “Curiously, almost 40 percent of couples are
essentially sexual within the first or second time they go out, but we suspect
that if you asked these same couples at this early stage of their relationship,
‘Do you trust this person to watch your pet for a weekend many could not answer
this in the affirmative’, meaning they are more comfortable letting people into
their bodies than they are with them watching their cat,” Busby said.

 He added that those couples who wait to be sexual
have time to figure out how trustworthy their partner is, how well they
communicate, and whether they share the same values in life “before the powerful
sexual bonding short-circuits their decision-making abilities.”

 Right now, the team is repeating the study on a
larger sample in a longitudinal design in which participants are followed over
time. “We are particularly curious about people who report wanting to wait to be
sexual but then they don’t follow through on their beliefs, this may be a unique
group with unique outcomes,” Busby said.