A leading Anglican bishop has praised the institution of marriage, and warned of the danger of it being hidden away “for fear of .jpg)
offending or sounding self-righteous”.
Writing in the Telegraph yesterday [1], in advance of today’s Royal Wedding, the Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu, also warned that more and more people seem to be wary of the commitment which marriage requires.
Commenting on the growing trend of cohabitation before marriage, the Archbishop said it is common in these times and, quoting his daughter, people “want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow.”
He said: “Discovering the depth and enduring meaning of love is the goal and prize of every relationship. Marriage in Britain, whether in church or a register office, is a pact for life made between one man and one woman.
“But these days, people seem to fight shy of a permanent commitment to anything or anybody. The average age of a marrying couple is around 30. Many have already been living together; one in five couples already has children.”
Dr Sentamu said he had married many cohabiting couples, and emphasised that married couples are more likely to stay together than cohabiting couples because marriage is a public declaration of a commitment for life.
The Archbishop also remarked on how Prince William and Kate Middleton, as with every other couple, “will be asked first if they will ‘love, comfort, honour and protect…’ their spouse.”
He said: “The answer to this is ‘I will’. It will not be ‘I do’. We take it for granted that the bride and groom love each other on their wedding day, so there is no need to ask them if they do. It is what follows that counts”.
Dr Sentamu commented: “At the outset, the couple is asked to make a commitment, an act of will, for the future. Theirs is a resolution to love, comfort, honour and protect, whatever the circumstances.
“Someone joked that love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. There are bound to be times in the future when the romance thermometer will barely register a reading; those who have said ‘I will’ and meant it, know only too well that feelings can wobble and are untrustworthy tests of authenticity, anyway.”
The Archbishop asserted: “Long-lasting marriages rely on mutual understanding and forbearance. Maturity discards rose-tinted spectacles in favour of seeing things as they really are.
The Archbishop remarked that in “Britain today, marriage is one of those benefits that is kept a secret for fear of offending or sounding self-righteous”.
He commented that it was a pity because marriage was a good product.
He said: “Some 85 per cent of married people and 59 per cent of unmarried people believe that getting married is the most serious decision one can take.
And added: “Even larger percentages agree that ‘despite the challenges, marriage is important for society”.