Marriage and the Church in Ireland face “existential crises” and the country has become “a colder place for Catholics” according to Obudsman Emily O’Reilly (pictured).

Speaking at the 50th anniversary conference of ACCORD, the Church’s marriage counselling service, Ms O’Reilly said that legal divorce and civil partnerships and “official unease at discriminating in favour of the traditional family at the expense of other types of family units” was seen as undermining “the support structure that traditional marriages need to survive”.

“As the little boy says in the children’s movie The Incredibles, when everything is special, nothing is special,” she said.

Marriage, she added, was in decline throughout the western world and new forms of social units were now being normalised. 

The decline was particularly sharp in the US and in parts of Western Europe, “and Ireland is hardly going to stand in a league of its own in this regard,” she warned. 

Couples are marrying later in life and there was evidence that marriage is increasingly becoming the preserve of the better off and the better educated, an essentially middle class phenomenon. 

“If the trends in the US – where married people with children living under one roof now comprise just 20pc of households as compared with 43pc in 1950, Accord might find itself dealing in a niche market. Might marriage become the elite institution of the future, and if it does, who counsels the rest?”

But she said that whatever personal imperative might be leading adults away from their commitment to marriage, one issue should compel them to put away their desire for flight or self-fulfillment and that was their children. 

She said: “All bets must be off when it comes to safeguarding the happiness and security of children. I have no doubt that there are intolerable situations where a parent has no option, or feels that they have no option, but to separate and then manage the care of children as best as they can between them but that has to continue to be the avenue of last resort.”

Meanwhile, Bishop Christopher Jones, President of ACCORD, told the same conference that there was a lack of political commitment to valuing marriage.

Citing statistics showing a dramatic rise in the rate of marriage breakdown, Bishop Jones said that this was “truly tragic because research has established that family rooted in marriage is the best possible environment for parents and children and ultimately for the society and the State”.

He said: “When did we last hear a government or a government minister speak in support of marriage and family? Public discourse seems to prioritise discussion and promote debate on other forms of union, rather than on the importance and value that loving marriages provide to the immediate family, the local community and to the nation as a whole.

“Yet any thinking person must see that amongst the greatest threats to a stable society is cohabitation and marriage breakdown. When is a government going to recognise that children born into secure and stable families receive the optimum start in life as they mature as citizens?”