The marriage of Kate Middleton to Prince William last Friday was a teaching moment par excellence. The Church of England used it to full advantage to gently teach about the nature of marriage, and the message was very traditional.

First of all, we had the Dean of Westminster Abbey, John Hall, explaining the nature of the institution of marriage according to the Christian understanding. It was ordained by God, he said, to bring children into the world and raise them correctly, to properly channel our natural instincts, and for mutual companionship.

In his homily, the Bishop of London, Richard Chartres, also took advantage of the teaching moment to deliver some home truths, including that marriage is not simply about self-fulfilment, that it is the best place in which to raise children, and that the decline of religion is increasing the burden on personal relationships by way of compensation.

About children, he said that the love between a man and wife “leads on to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can receive and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace”.

About the increased burden placed on our personal relationships by the decline of religion, he said: “As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive. We need mutual forgiveness in order to thrive.”

On the subject of marriage not being about self-fulfilment, he stated:“Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this: the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.”

Modern culture is redefining marriage as something that is purely private, purely about mutual self-fulfilment, and only incidentally to do with children. This could not be further removed from the traditional, let alone the Christian understanding of marriage, which also happens to be the only understanding that makes proper sense. Hopefully a few people took to heart last Friday’s teaching moment.