Breda O’Brien’s Irish Times column on sex education last Saturday contained a lot of food for thought and is well worth a read.

Perhaps the most interesting point she makes is that, contrary to popular opinion, what parents say about sex has a major influence on teenagers and their sexual behaviour.

She writes: “For example, one US survey in 2000 found that young people were more likely to delay sexual activity if they knew their mother strongly disapproved of becoming sexually active too young.

“But lots of young people were not aware of their parents’ opinions.”

The reason for this, she suggests is “a crisis in parental confidence”. Parents, she suggests, “are not sure what messages to give”.

The consequences of this are devastating for teenagers, she points out.

This phenomenon is linked to the wider trend away from virtue and a vocabulary of morality, O’Brien suggests.

Virtue, she points out is “only developed after extensive training”.

“Today, we have substituted rights and obligations for virtues, and where there is no obligation, we are forced into silence. If someone is a reasonably responsible citizen, but wishes to be promiscuous, provided their partners are willing, we can only shrug that they are ‘within their rights’,” she says.

Those who bear the brunt of this new ethic of irresponsibility are children.

She says we need to move toward an ethic that stresses commitment over personal freedom.